Steven Daigle

I remember watching a documentary calling the Butch Factor and there was a short interview with a gay rodeo cowboy named Steven Daigle. This man was on a wild bull and flew off it and just hung onto the gated fence for dear life. And it was hot watching him and I thought I was actually seeing a real-life rodeo competition. I saw a cowboy. And it was only after the fact he said he was on Big Brother. I was clueless before. Moments can define a man's character. All I needed was to watch that moment with him and bull to see him as a fighter in the ring with the beast alone, willing to take it. I thought I wouldn't see him again on film. I wish there was more of him on that film in the gay rodeo part especially. Well, I then realized that I did see him before on my tlagay.com booklet catalog. He was on the front cover of it! Man, this really peaked my interest in him and made me want to do research on him.

He's currently in gay porn. He really has an awesome body. But what's interesting about him is his non-conformity as a gay man. He doesn't fit in that stereo-type. He's been a rodeo cowboy, gone onto TV on a reality show on CBS, and now doing porn. Pretty non-confirming path by anyone's standards, let alone being gay. That's just his public life. And that's awesome. His private life is even more raw, tragic, and telling of his character. He's been thru so much that it's amazing that he keeps a straight face in front of the camera. Check out this interview he did for Lucas Entertainment. Though he my hide his emotions on his face, its in his eyes that we can really tell the pain he's been thru by the death of his boyfriend to being rejected by his own family after telling them of his death. It's also in his eyes that we glean the strength in him. He still fights that beast in the ring as do all gay men trying to find their place in a world that unjustly rejects us. And though he's gotten beaten emotionally speaking, he still gets up and fights, and fights, and fights. He fights to live, to live his life, and to define it his way. And that's beautiful and amazing to observe that. His strength stuns me to imagine that I too can have that strength as he. He's another example of the human spirit, to endure and live on, to rise above the rest, even possibly above himself. Keep being who you are Steven, don't confirm.

DADT in COMIC BOOK by US Army

"Dignity & Respect: A Training Guide On Homosexual Conduct Policy" is apparently a comic book by the US Army in explaining or dumbing down how the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy works. Funny and disturbing. Reading it made me feel like I'm just some paperwork waiting to get processed out if and when I'm was outed, being treated like a criminal at best. You can read the full comic here.

Strength in Many

I was recently reading a web article on Derrick Martin, the gay teen from Georgia who asked to bring his boyfriend to prom. His school allowed it but his parents kicked him out. Well, turns out he's teaming up with the Trevor Project and other groups, to create Project LifeVest, an org to assist LGBT youth facing discrimination and even finding a shelter/temporary home after they come out or kicked out like him. Here's a quote from him:


"My situation and the attention it has drawn have provided me a unique perspective and opportunity that I feel I cannot pass up", Martin noted. "Young people who, like myself, have been disadvantaged because of discrimination, hate, or ignorance need somewhere to turn for help. GLAAD was my life vest, and I plan to be a life vest to as many others as I can. I only want those who face obstacles like mine to know that they are not alone, for everyone has the right to love regardless of sexual orientation."


In high school, I wasn't out and didn't want to admit to myself that I was just attracted to guys. I just didn't meet the right girl, so I thought. But I still couldn't deny part of me, to myself or to others. So when some of my jock friends would ask me if I was gay or not in high school, I wouldn't give them a straight forward answer. I didn't know myself, so how could I give them a direct answer. And even though I was jock/athlete, playing sports like football, I was still suspect to my attractions and my jock peers picked up on it, which resulted in constant questioning and getting picked on. I even had a crush on a guy friend that I thought I was hiding, but really everyone knew in the end. I was embarassed for it. And on top of that, just add dysfunctional family drama, repressed teenage-raging-sexual hormones, worries of college picks/post-high school paths, and you got the worst years of my life. I worked like hell to not let it be addressed and avoided it entirely. Bottom line, I was scared, most youths are and for justifiable reason, especially in the South, where I grew up and in high school.

Such as today, there are those crazy or brave few who finally wake up one day and say, "Fuck this, I'm tired of living a lie or pretending not to be me." And they stand up who they in being attracted to the same sex. They take the beatings, the taunts, the jokes, expulsions from school, and even being kicked out by family such as Derrick Martin. I wish I was half the teen they are when I was in high school. They are the prime examples of what it is to be American. To rise above conflict is a testament of the American spirit, the human spirit, of standing against what's wrong and saying no more to the status quo. AND THEN, after that, Derrick even has the energy to go forward and help those in the LGBT youth in jumping starting this org. Wow. His strength, as well others, speak volumes for the future and determination they have. For those youth that take a stand, whether coming out in high school or fighting for your LGBT community, I salute you.