On the Road

My job searches are going not as well than I expected. I've been applying to numerous positions around the country but I rarely get any responses back on if I got it or not. All but two have emailed me back. But anyways, One of those I am pursuing further, just takes some more paperwork and more steps to go, but this is a real potential position could get really. Yahhh!!!! Then I can stopping worrying about not keeping up with my bills. I realize that being a single gay man, one has less to worry about financially. We're unlikely to get married due to laws in this country, let alone having kids to feed (of course there are exceptions), and if a gay couple does pursue gay marriage and kids, more than likely, their in a better stable/financial position for spend more on extra bodies and usually more mature, like in their 30s to middle age, compared to us 20 yr old youngin's.

Young people tend to burn thru alot of cash quick. Today is Black Friday and I so wish I had the cash to get to latest games for my Xbox 360. But I'm near broke and waitin' for that job break-in to make that cash-money. But being a gay consumer, one also has to navigate which businesses are actually not using your hard-earned cash against you, like if their supporting anti-gay politicians or giving funds to hate groups. For companies like Target or Bestbuy that have been in the news recently, sexual minorities can't just look the other way and still think companies have our gay interests in mind. Companies don't deserve to be treated like people let alone think that they can get away in impacting politics and American lives. I now stay the hell away from these stores. I even tore up my Best-buy card in my own protest.  There's nothing that hurts a company than in their pocket books, and they ain't gonna get none of mine.

The Christmas season is upon us and people expected to buy gifts, which is always awkward for me.  Whenever I give gifts to people that are not family, there's always that awkward moment when the receiver, especially males, thinks 'why did he get me a gift.  He must really like me more than a friend' or they feel obligated to return the favor or won't accept my gift cause they don't want to feel obligated.  Big headache really.  Believe me, I was once in the Christmas spirit of giving but I gave up on people and to think that I could just give simply a gift and not worry about its implications.  With my family on the other hand, we usually don't buy gifts for each other, cause were all broke anyways.  But my father did ask me what I wanted for Christmas, which I still don't have any idea what I want.  Maybe an electric guitar or a new ipod or a new cellphone or just cash or a plane ticket to Chicago.

I still don't know.  But traveling I love to do and being on the road.  The fact that I don't have a job or anything to tie me down locally, I can go and move to anywhere.  The con is I don't got enough cash to sustain my move outside of the Texas border or I'll be bummin' rides.  Not fun.  I do miss the coastal cities like Fort Lauderdale or Los Angeles.  Yeah, especially California.  I miss the West.  I miss the people, my Cali friends, and all the hot guys there.  What's so interesting about Cali are the men.  There seems to be a more comfortable tolerance of gay men overall that you can feel in the air, even some extra gay-friendly action one can get from hetero men if your in the right time and the right place.  Any other state that I've been, meaning the South, you'd have to search online or at the gay bars or the bathhouses for some action/safety.  I have been tempted to just drive out of here and just take as much shit as I can put in my car and go on the road to Los Angeles or to San Francisco or to Miami even.  Forget the past and start anew.  But I got to think smart and wait for that right time, where I will be in a better financial position.  Til then, I'll have to settle for crashing at my parents/relatives' homes, watching online shows of Dexter, and eating ice cream while playing Fallout NewVegas til late in the night, which is the only action (sadly not the man-sex action) I can get right now.  Sigh.  I feel fat.