Memories of the City

I miss L.A. I miss the people there. I miss the times I spent with friends and the sense of ease and cool on people's minds. Where the attitude of "Let Live" was more the norm than a slogan. Working here in Texas is more about survival than it is about ease. I work everyday here in West Texas and at night. It can be desolate traveling between towns and pure darkness all around. My job with at-risk youths can be fulfilling but it's still not enough for me. When I spend most of my waking hours in getting to know these kids, I realize how limited I can take my relationship with them. They will never know that I am gay unless I tell them. And if I tell them, then that means that I'm quitting or I want to get fired. It just sucks to work in Texas, especially for the state, when you're a sexual minority, and especially working in the educational realm or working with teen youths.

Just because I'm attracted to men, don't mean I'm a pedophile. Sure, every gay man can find attraction in working with teenagers, but a hetero man can also be attracted to a young female teen. That doesn't mean he's going to rape her. One must control one's actions and be professional, but that goes for any line of work. But of course, there's a double standard for sexual minorities. It's assumed in our culture that sexual minorities working with young teens or in the educational area, are going to molest those under their care, which is wrong of our culture. Ironically, if every gay, bi, lesbian, trans-gendered, or queer teacher in the US, regardless of state, would publicly come out to their co-workers and students, it would make huge impact on a closest child's life. It may even save that child's life from suicide, even decrease bullying. Such massive act in our country, would deliver the message that being gay does not mean being afraid. We have to dispel this culture of fear if we are to live an equal society. How can we stop bullying or youth suicides if we, sexual minorities, are forced to be closeted at our work.

Yeah, I feel guilty everyday for who I am and for what I've not done as being gay. I've had to still avoid talk about my personal life to my co-workers so that I can keep my job and not be unemployed. Don't get me wrong, I'm truly blessed to have a job. I am paying my bills on time and slowly but surely getting out of debt. But at what price? I feel less in the 21st century than I do living in the McCarthy Era of the 1950s in rural America, secreting meeting other gays behind closed doors like I'm in the Mattachine Society. I feel like a cockroach, hiding in the corners of society. I just can't believe I'm in the same damn situation as if I'm still under the DADT in the military. We need stop this crap, this discrimination, this hate. We need ENDA. Cause my country still treats me like crap, even as working gay veteran. We deserve more.

Round the Bend

Does anyone know any barber shops in the Big Bend?  I'm now living in the stuff where Western legends and films were made. No gas stations or barber shops for at least 30min or 1hr away. But the beauty of living here is beyond words. But where are the barber shops??? I can't even get phone service in the place I'm living in. Welcome to West Texas. In the middle of nowhere.

Anyways, yeah, I got a job. A job that's challenging yet rewarding (at the end of the day at least). Well, I'm now workin' with "at-risk" teens from 16-19yrs of age.  Mainly boys. And boy, what a bunch they are. From all kinds of fucked up backgrounds-drug attics, gang-bangers, homeless, abusive families, etc. Yet, these kids have so much potential to change their lives for the better. They just have to believe it themselves. So far, I've been working with them for a couple of months, and I'm planning to do this for about a year or so, for now. I want to seriously think and plan for my future, about what direction I want to go, if I decide going back to school or military again. Either way, this job is a life-rewarding experience for me, it's honestly a godsend really. Everyday, I learn from these kids, they teach me so much about myself, about the impact of the decisions I make or they make, about social intelligence.  And of course, discipline in how to give it and to deal with the consequences of actions. To stick to your decisions and be accountable for them. They show me how much promise life can give. And they also show me the darkness in human nature. Some are also social-paths in the making or already are. One day for me is like a week's experience in dealing with people at work or kids from any other school.

I've already been threatened with getting punched or hit at, been cussed it, been accused of something I didn't do by these kids. I'm really surprised I haven't been hit at yet. Some of these kids are emotional time-bombs waiting to get set off. Lots of drama. Some are as dumb as bag of rocks that it boogles the mind, some (like a handful) are college material for a 4yr university and quick learners. Some are ignorant about people (like gays) and of the world that it's unthinkable for them to think in that way or differently than what they think. Some are a hot mess. And some just don't give a shit, about anyone or their future. Again, everyday is filled with life lessons for me. And at the end of the day, I know I have in some way, contributed to these kids' lives and impacted them in some way. That I tried to impact them positively or to teach them about the consequences of their actions. Well, I'll update you some more later....

Sunday Faith by Black Spark Films

As a gay man, gay porn is part of growing up, learning about sex, and releasing our lustful urges on sexual images on a screen.  But too often in viewing most of the mainstream gay porn, we get accustomed to the technical way it moves about kissing-foreplay including oral, rimming-fucking-then climax, usually in those phases.  Too often the gay porn industry neglects the personal/emotional side of gay sex.  And then leader from Black Spark Flims has a vision and creates pieces of art like this one.  Beautiful, raw, & sexual in every way.  Truly a breathe of fresh air.  Enjoy.

Rise of the Queers: USMC DADT Message

I'd never thought I'd see the day that the US Marine Corp make a video on lifting the DADT policy.  I'm currently re-reading a book that examines the gay men & masculinity of the Marine Corp in The Masculine Marine: Homoeroticism in the U.S. Marine Corp by Steven Zeeland. Although it was written over 10 years ago, it's very amazing to read  the perspectives of the interviewees & how it compares to our time now.  I remember in the book one of the interviewees states that the Marine Corp will probably be the last to lift the DADT policy & accept gays but who would believe that in our day & age of 2011 that the Marine Corp who be the 1st service to usher implementation in lifting the ban & promoting acceptance for gays with THIS video. AWESOME!!!!!  OMG I'm sooo going into the Marine Corp. I mean how can I not join into the military at a time like this.  That's when it gets lifted that is.  After it is, there will be no fear to hide for being who we are. But there's still work to be done in this country/military for equality of the LGBT community like Non-Discrimination Act, Marriage Act, etc. But imagine after, there will be, for the 1st time in our military history, a new generation of queer men & women to serve openly, support groups for us, & to meet together openly. I definitely what to be a part of that.  Plus also imagine at the all the hot sex too.  Who could resist that!

Sorry, it's been awhile since I blogged, I've been acting sick there past couple of days, like recovering from a bad case of GERD. It's been a roller-coaster of hospital visits, heartburn, & paranoia. It's a first time experience for me, so I'm definitely still trying to make sense of this condition & reflection on myself & the feeling the possibility of the O (Death).  But it was just a feeling.  More of the unknown.  But I've never felt that sense of desperation as I've done these past couple of days.  My sick days gave me the realization that death can be a every corner, that health is a precise gift, & everyday is not to be taken for granted. Life is beautiful, short, & sweet.

All the more for me to train to get fitter, stronger, & prepare for the service when the DADT policy is officially lifted.  My main goal so far is to gain weight/muscle mass. I'm sure every gay man has some personal issues with there weight or trying to live up to the sexy image of muscles & masculinity. So I'm on my journey to gain some muscle, mainly to get stronger, not really to get sexier, but to survive what's to come.  But if I start getting attractive, so be it, all the more.  I feel like every gay man pressured to live up this imaginary sexy image, but I've come to understand that you must make up your own image of you that's harder to conceptualize into reality.  Plus it's ok to be not be typical or adored or to be single.  I realized I don't need that. I just need to know me. I'm evolving for sure.  And you know what, America is evolving too in accepting us.  The LGBT community is evolving too.  I truly believe the day when the word "gay" becomes obsolete is the day when who we love, regardless of gender, will be of no difference & of no discrimination to anyone.  Where it will be normal for little Jimmy to take Billy to the prom without making the national news or resistance. I hope I live to see that day.  That will be beautiful.  Tomorrow's a new dawn. Stay tuned for more of your little CookieMonster...

On the Road

My job searches are going not as well than I expected. I've been applying to numerous positions around the country but I rarely get any responses back on if I got it or not. All but two have emailed me back. But anyways, One of those I am pursuing further, just takes some more paperwork and more steps to go, but this is a real potential position could get really. Yahhh!!!! Then I can stopping worrying about not keeping up with my bills. I realize that being a single gay man, one has less to worry about financially. We're unlikely to get married due to laws in this country, let alone having kids to feed (of course there are exceptions), and if a gay couple does pursue gay marriage and kids, more than likely, their in a better stable/financial position for spend more on extra bodies and usually more mature, like in their 30s to middle age, compared to us 20 yr old youngin's.

Young people tend to burn thru alot of cash quick. Today is Black Friday and I so wish I had the cash to get to latest games for my Xbox 360. But I'm near broke and waitin' for that job break-in to make that cash-money. But being a gay consumer, one also has to navigate which businesses are actually not using your hard-earned cash against you, like if their supporting anti-gay politicians or giving funds to hate groups. For companies like Target or Bestbuy that have been in the news recently, sexual minorities can't just look the other way and still think companies have our gay interests in mind. Companies don't deserve to be treated like people let alone think that they can get away in impacting politics and American lives. I now stay the hell away from these stores. I even tore up my Best-buy card in my own protest.  There's nothing that hurts a company than in their pocket books, and they ain't gonna get none of mine.

The Christmas season is upon us and people expected to buy gifts, which is always awkward for me.  Whenever I give gifts to people that are not family, there's always that awkward moment when the receiver, especially males, thinks 'why did he get me a gift.  He must really like me more than a friend' or they feel obligated to return the favor or won't accept my gift cause they don't want to feel obligated.  Big headache really.  Believe me, I was once in the Christmas spirit of giving but I gave up on people and to think that I could just give simply a gift and not worry about its implications.  With my family on the other hand, we usually don't buy gifts for each other, cause were all broke anyways.  But my father did ask me what I wanted for Christmas, which I still don't have any idea what I want.  Maybe an electric guitar or a new ipod or a new cellphone or just cash or a plane ticket to Chicago.

I still don't know.  But traveling I love to do and being on the road.  The fact that I don't have a job or anything to tie me down locally, I can go and move to anywhere.  The con is I don't got enough cash to sustain my move outside of the Texas border or I'll be bummin' rides.  Not fun.  I do miss the coastal cities like Fort Lauderdale or Los Angeles.  Yeah, especially California.  I miss the West.  I miss the people, my Cali friends, and all the hot guys there.  What's so interesting about Cali are the men.  There seems to be a more comfortable tolerance of gay men overall that you can feel in the air, even some extra gay-friendly action one can get from hetero men if your in the right time and the right place.  Any other state that I've been, meaning the South, you'd have to search online or at the gay bars or the bathhouses for some action/safety.  I have been tempted to just drive out of here and just take as much shit as I can put in my car and go on the road to Los Angeles or to San Francisco or to Miami even.  Forget the past and start anew.  But I got to think smart and wait for that right time, where I will be in a better financial position.  Til then, I'll have to settle for crashing at my parents/relatives' homes, watching online shows of Dexter, and eating ice cream while playing Fallout NewVegas til late in the night, which is the only action (sadly not the man-sex action) I can get right now.  Sigh.  I feel fat.

A New Chapter: A Veteran's Day Outing

Well. Alot has happened since I actually wrote me. Officially, I am now out of the military. I'm out of the Air Force now. Ironically, I was involuntarily separated and not "outed" under the DADT. I didn't do nothing illegal or wrong. I was in training for a rated/flying career position for about a year, but unfortunately, I was removed out of the training program due to "performance deficiencies," meaning failing too many missions, even thou I did extremely well academically and being 100% physically fit. The program is rigorous, demanding, definitely not for everyone. Yeah, I could have planned and executed better than those days in hinds-sight, but I can honestly say I didn't quit and gave it my all. Nevertheless, it will always be a failure that will stick out in mind, one that I will always bear and learn from. I have made mistakes in my life, a few big ones for sure, but entering into that program was not one of them. And I don't have any regrets either for going into it, but one. And that's me failing the program. But after that was the AF's decision.

Normally, whenever someone washes out of the program, they get reclassified into another career field that's doable and more to one's strengths, for instance if you have an Engineering, then Civil Engineering is the mostly likely choice the AF wants you at. But since I don't have a technical degree, it's not so easy I guess. And the AF is currently down-sizing, so even though I was young officer and have thousand-of-dollars training and qualifications, it was the AF's decision to cut me loose from active duty. And "out of my control" according to the AF. I didn't think it would happen to me after a good amount of years spent up to this point, not being out, playing by the hetero rules of DoD. So yeah, I was upset, pissed, depressed, but it was alot of waiting, and waiting, and waiting, then rush, rush, to get separated. So I had some quality time to myself to contemplate. After the fact, it's failure that I must learn from and that this is a new opportunity for me. To actually live my life as a gay man that I could never do in the military. I've never been publicly out or to pursue public gay social life normally. But there's still that desire to serve. I still feel that burn in me whenever I think "Man, I've been kicked out of the AF." Yeah, with an honorable discharge and fuck yeah, I don't have to pay back all my scholarship money from the AF, but call me crazy, I still feel unfulfilled, like I really didn't get a chance to serve at my best, or a chance to redeem myself. My honor is still at stake.

But to live honorably under the DADT policy as a gay man was hell, really a prison. I had to be schizophrenic, distrustful of others, and low confidence of myself for not being me. And now....I'm actually free. I still want to serve, but I'm free and can be out, regardlesss of where I choose to work at. I'm free, I'm free, those are powerful words. So imagine the day when this DADT policy is lifted for those that are gay and still in the military. And it's coming sooo soon. First, the Dec.1 report, which BTW the results look very positive, according to the news of the leaked DoD survey results, on sexual minorities serving and more of an afterthought, like "whatever". And then the law of Congress to lift it in the lame duck session, which there should be no excuse for LGB people to serve after that. Anyways, time and history will be the judge of that, and believe me, I will never forget that discrimination and oppression of living under the DADT policy. And I will never back down for being who I am or be silent about the bullshit that people say about sexual minorities. And people, I've taken alot of bullshit that people have said about us sexual minorities and it boggles the mind on the ignorance that people say. I will never forget all that bullshit. Never.

So yeah, new chapter, new life. Now jobless, diving into the weak-ass US job workforce, but hey, I'm alive, young, and of course, free. Proud to be free, proud to be me, proud to now be a veteran (which BTW I sound fuckin' old), and proud to be an American to serve, even if it was under bullshit-y circumstances to be in, more or less. But those were the cards I was dealt,that's life and one learns. What am I going to do about? Well, ot's fucking ironic for sure. But I will move on. And yeah, I really want to serve again, who knows, I may become a Marine the next time possibly. But for now, I'm home, I'm free to be me. A new chapter's beginning not just for me, but for America & its service members as well. I'll keep you posted...

Naughty, Naughty Maid!!!

Here's some eye candy for all you guys and dolls out there with a maid being naughty with Cristiano Ronaldo in "Housekeeping" by Armani. It's a sexy and funny video, which is always a pleasure seeing Cristiano shirtless. Enjoy.

Cute but Evil Pandas!!!

Had to post this. Hilarious. Enjoy.

The Repealing of the DADT: Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga called her senators, have you? Let's repeal this DADT policy once and for all. Call your senators now and let's make this past history as it should have been.

Steven Daigle

I remember watching a documentary calling the Butch Factor and there was a short interview with a gay rodeo cowboy named Steven Daigle. This man was on a wild bull and flew off it and just hung onto the gated fence for dear life. And it was hot watching him and I thought I was actually seeing a real-life rodeo competition. I saw a cowboy. And it was only after the fact he said he was on Big Brother. I was clueless before. Moments can define a man's character. All I needed was to watch that moment with him and bull to see him as a fighter in the ring with the beast alone, willing to take it. I thought I wouldn't see him again on film. I wish there was more of him on that film in the gay rodeo part especially. Well, I then realized that I did see him before on my tlagay.com booklet catalog. He was on the front cover of it! Man, this really peaked my interest in him and made me want to do research on him.

He's currently in gay porn. He really has an awesome body. But what's interesting about him is his non-conformity as a gay man. He doesn't fit in that stereo-type. He's been a rodeo cowboy, gone onto TV on a reality show on CBS, and now doing porn. Pretty non-confirming path by anyone's standards, let alone being gay. That's just his public life. And that's awesome. His private life is even more raw, tragic, and telling of his character. He's been thru so much that it's amazing that he keeps a straight face in front of the camera. Check out this interview he did for Lucas Entertainment. Though he my hide his emotions on his face, its in his eyes that we can really tell the pain he's been thru by the death of his boyfriend to being rejected by his own family after telling them of his death. It's also in his eyes that we glean the strength in him. He still fights that beast in the ring as do all gay men trying to find their place in a world that unjustly rejects us. And though he's gotten beaten emotionally speaking, he still gets up and fights, and fights, and fights. He fights to live, to live his life, and to define it his way. And that's beautiful and amazing to observe that. His strength stuns me to imagine that I too can have that strength as he. He's another example of the human spirit, to endure and live on, to rise above the rest, even possibly above himself. Keep being who you are Steven, don't confirm.

DADT in COMIC BOOK by US Army

"Dignity & Respect: A Training Guide On Homosexual Conduct Policy" is apparently a comic book by the US Army in explaining or dumbing down how the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy works. Funny and disturbing. Reading it made me feel like I'm just some paperwork waiting to get processed out if and when I'm was outed, being treated like a criminal at best. You can read the full comic here.

Strength in Many

I was recently reading a web article on Derrick Martin, the gay teen from Georgia who asked to bring his boyfriend to prom. His school allowed it but his parents kicked him out. Well, turns out he's teaming up with the Trevor Project and other groups, to create Project LifeVest, an org to assist LGBT youth facing discrimination and even finding a shelter/temporary home after they come out or kicked out like him. Here's a quote from him:


"My situation and the attention it has drawn have provided me a unique perspective and opportunity that I feel I cannot pass up", Martin noted. "Young people who, like myself, have been disadvantaged because of discrimination, hate, or ignorance need somewhere to turn for help. GLAAD was my life vest, and I plan to be a life vest to as many others as I can. I only want those who face obstacles like mine to know that they are not alone, for everyone has the right to love regardless of sexual orientation."


In high school, I wasn't out and didn't want to admit to myself that I was just attracted to guys. I just didn't meet the right girl, so I thought. But I still couldn't deny part of me, to myself or to others. So when some of my jock friends would ask me if I was gay or not in high school, I wouldn't give them a straight forward answer. I didn't know myself, so how could I give them a direct answer. And even though I was jock/athlete, playing sports like football, I was still suspect to my attractions and my jock peers picked up on it, which resulted in constant questioning and getting picked on. I even had a crush on a guy friend that I thought I was hiding, but really everyone knew in the end. I was embarassed for it. And on top of that, just add dysfunctional family drama, repressed teenage-raging-sexual hormones, worries of college picks/post-high school paths, and you got the worst years of my life. I worked like hell to not let it be addressed and avoided it entirely. Bottom line, I was scared, most youths are and for justifiable reason, especially in the South, where I grew up and in high school.

Such as today, there are those crazy or brave few who finally wake up one day and say, "Fuck this, I'm tired of living a lie or pretending not to be me." And they stand up who they in being attracted to the same sex. They take the beatings, the taunts, the jokes, expulsions from school, and even being kicked out by family such as Derrick Martin. I wish I was half the teen they are when I was in high school. They are the prime examples of what it is to be American. To rise above conflict is a testament of the American spirit, the human spirit, of standing against what's wrong and saying no more to the status quo. AND THEN, after that, Derrick even has the energy to go forward and help those in the LGBT youth in jumping starting this org. Wow. His strength, as well others, speak volumes for the future and determination they have. For those youth that take a stand, whether coming out in high school or fighting for your LGBT community, I salute you.

Basement Jaxx ft Lightspeed Champion-My Turn

Recently saw this video, which is a pretty dope song and cool video. Enjoy.

araabMUZIK

Has his way with the MPC in true Dipset fashion.

The Known Universe Mapped by AMNH

Via the American Museum of Natural History: "The Known Universe takes viewers from the Himalayas through our atmosphere and the inky black of space to the afterglow of the Big Bang. Every star, planet, and quasar seen in the film is possible because of the world's most complete four-dimensional map of the universe, the Digital Universe Atlas that is maintained and updated by astrophysicists at the American Museum of Natural History. The new film, created by the Museum, is part of an exhibition, Visions of the Cosmos: From the Milky Ocean to an Evolving Universe, at the Rubin Museum of Art in Manhattan through May 2010. "

High School Lip Dub Video-BACKWARDS!!!

This is supposedly the first lip dub video ever done fully backwards for a High School competition by Shorewood High. I wish high was this much fun when I was growing up.

Turkey Lurky BEGINS!!!! (Backwards Broadway)

It’s Turkey Lurkey Time! Just finished with Thanksgiving and everyone’s getting excited because it’s the start of the Holiday Season. So in the spirit of the holidays, I’m sharing this incredible video of three guys dancing to one of my favorite holiday/musical tunes, “Turkey Lurkey Time,” written by Burt Bachrach and Hal David for the musical “Promises Promises.” Check it out! Have some Turkey Lurkey!!!

Feel like a Million Dollars!!!

Hope you all feel like a million dollars, courtesy of Whitney and some funny manly bunch. Enjoy.

Find a Masculine Costume for Your Effeminate Son

OMG I had to get this video off the Towelroad blog for some kick-ass laughs. Straight from the Onion, they hit the nail on the satirical head with this Halloween guide for parents determined not to let their boys look like sissies on Halloween.

As the video quotes explains, "If you want your child to depict a male-dominated profession, be very careful not to choose one that's been co-opted by the gay community like a fireman, a cop, a cowboy...otherwise they'll just end up looking like a stripper."

Have a Happy Halloween and enjoy....


How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

The Underground

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Well, while we trainin' it up outside, we had some downtime to just sit and have our minds wander. Well, some of the guys in my company were just jokin' and chatting like guys do. But one of the topics that the guys surprisingly talked about was how does one become gay? One of the what if question that started the topic was what would be worse to have: a gay son or a slut (eventually pregnant) daughter. Well, this conversation got my attention, but stopped myself from jumping in, and just casually observe and listen in, which we all were kinda sittin' in a semi arch. Anyways, One of the guys said that he had an awesome mentor/teacher that had the most amazing war stories being deployed but had a son that was gay. So they were talking about how this amazing guy just so happens to have a gay son and the guy telling about this situation said that he asked that amazing guy what he thought about it. He replied that it's weird sure at first, but it is what it is. He'll always be his son.

But the guys that listened were still trying to understand how someone can turn or be 'gay'. How does this happen? These guys were academy grads so they tended to be of the more traditional bunch, but I was thinkin' the same thing, how the hell does this happen? Who can choose this knowingly? I sure as hell didn't. But the guys were trying to argue that maybe it the psychology of a person or the history of a family or even maybe, just maybe, you can predict that that a person is gay on if the ring finger is higher than the index finger. And then they all tried to measure their hands and compare. I showed them mine and then I said, "Well, then I guess I'm gay according to that." Hahahaha. You have no idea the bitter-sweet irony I felt then and there at that moment. I had to take it in. .Ironic. Beautiful. Divine. Divine justice or injustice? One thing's for sure they all knew, DADT is inevitably going to be gone and THEN, everyone in the mil is all gonna have to deal with it, regardless. Better for them to talk about it now than later I guess.

Well, this is the play of my life. It feels like I'm in a play cause I'm playing a double act or a double agent of some sort. It really is like I'm some spy looking on the inside of a warrior society of loyalty, duty, and traditionalism. But you know, it's not hard to act 'straight'. I mean if you're conscious of your body language, voice, and mannerisms with professionalism on top, you pretty much got it. It's just hard to be fully human or real here. It's hard to have a social life and even harder for a dating relationship. Men trip not on mountains, but on mole holes, and its the simple-conservation-mole-holes that I have to watch out for in social situations everytime in mil company. But you know what's also hard, finding the 'others' like me on active duty or at least from the officer side of the fence. I feel just like a hetero too trying to speculate on whether a person is gay or not. You can have your opinions and perceptions but you can never really know....Unless you ask, which I can't do obviously. It's like finding an underground group I know I have to seek out and listen out for before I get the access to be the real me around these select people. So I've got to go deeper underground.

Tales of Truth

Dear blog readers,

For the past weeks, I've been contemplating about continuing writing in this blog for sometime, especially with the current news about the LGBT community, but each time I want to, I'm always afraid to write about myself because of the fact of being pursued or being found out. I'm currently in the armed service and with the DADT policy still in affect-well you get the point. But I'm tired of being silent and sealing it all in. I don't want to lose my fucking insanity. I want to write about what I go thru living under this DADT policy as a young officer and what I have experienced and experience daily to add my perspective in order to fight against this policy and to promote equality and justice for all, including sexual minorities. So if I died tomorrow, at least the world will know thru you, dear reader, that I spoke out, that I served my country honorably as best as I could, even under the circumstances of this policy, and that my voice was heard or recorded for all to take in, reflect, and learn from.

I highly value my privacy and before I share anything further, I must write this disclaimer for my legal sake. I am not in any way speaking for or representing the US Department of Defense or its military branches such as the US Coast Guard, Navy, Army, Marines, or Air Force while writing this blog. I am writing this blog as myself, an individual out of uniform, and just as a fellow US citizen who happens to currently serve. I am not publicly out, and I desire to keep it that way. I am also not publicly coming out onto this blog obviously. Though this is a public domain, I do desire to remain anonymous in not revealing my personal info or identity, so please dear reader, do not ask who I personally am (hence Don't Ask, Don't Tell) or pursue me in any way. This is definitely not a protest blog and I'm not gonna be sharing any confidential stuff that would jeopardize me or my country. This blog is just like any typical blog that a service member would write in order stay connected to their family, friends, or community outside their current area stationed or deployed at, but just my own writing outlet. You can comment to me about anything you want, I welcome your comments and discussions-positive or negative (at least no FLAMING negative comments please), but all I ask is that you respect my privacy as well respect other readers.

Now that this is out of the way. I want to start out this conversation with the latest news on a gay man that was hazed (see below):



Now, if you deployed me tomorrow in Afghanistan and I was attacked by terrorists, hell ya, I'd be shitting bricks, but I'd also be shooting with my rifle back and defending my unit and fellow members as best that I could. But the thing that I fear the most are not terrorist attacking me in the dark of the night, but my own fellow service members that would not think twice about hazing me or even shooting me in the back of the head because I was a homosexual or perceived to be. My abuse or death would be considered a hate crime. And it would be ironic for my abusers because of the fact that they were motivated by hate and wanted to make an example of me in order to coerce, oppressive, or terrorize the sexual minority community, that they themselves become the terrorists they fight against and swore to fight for the equality of all U.S. citizens. This story reminds me that there are some people who are psycho-paths that would kill or attack any person that just even disagrees with their idea of heterosexuality and not be "gay." I am clearly reminded that even when the DADT policy is lifted, there's still the potential that my life could be threatened and that I could be a victim of such a hate crime, even in uniform and publicly open. I feel that there will even be some, such as myself, that will continue to be private about themselves or afraid to reveal their sexuality because of they don't want to be harassed or threatened their life for. But with the DADT lifted, it'll be one less thing I have to worry about out, which at least I'll know that I wasn't kicked out of military before being murdered victim of a hate crime. But I nevertheless place my confidence that when this DADT is lifted, our military will ensure the protection for all so that this never happens again like Rocha experienced. Rocha truly had the strength to endure this shit for 2 years deployed!!! I pray that never happens to anyone in uniform at all, especially from fellow serviced members.

WWII Hero Speaks Out for Maine

Marines do Mario

Lady Gaga-Tribute to Equality

Super-Obama!!!

Here's a hilarious link to Super Obama superhero. Enjoy!!!

We Love U Michael Jackson

We will miss you Michael Jackson. The world mourns you. We all love you.




Siedah Garrett & The Agape International Choir's Tribute to Michael Jackson

Results of Prop 8

So why care about Gay Marriage? Here's why...

Fight Discrimination

A Sweet Transvestite!!!!!!!!!!

From: http://www.gaytvblog.com/2008/07/time-warp-mtv-r.html


Time to Go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show

There's nothing that turns me on with someone who's a cross of Mick Jagger, strutting with spider leg silk stockings with some hard core mascara, wearing a corset like no man's (or woman's) business, with hot-ass crimson lip stick, blue-a-fying eye shadow, and a voice that could make your spine shiver and shimmi-shake....Mmmmmm, that's right, I give you the one and only, the best and audacious, the fierce and hot, the sweet Transylvanian transvestite....Dr.Frank-N-Furter! What makes The Rocky Horror Picture Show so loved by theatre junkies and musical fans alike, that go to see this show nearly everyday at 12AM, that makes them wanting to die for more rockness, more freakiness, more bad-assiness? Well, only way to find out is to come see and join the show. Enjoy!

Got Equality? (3)

From: http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn74/sprg2n/military/03.jpg

Against the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy


There's nothing that I respect with the utmost gratitude than someone who is in the Armed Forces. I truly believe that the reason Americans have our basic rights and freedoms is from these men and women who sacrifice their own freedom, time, and even their lives to defend those American principles of freedom in serving within the US Armed Forces. Ideally, it is said, the U.S. military defends our rights and freedoms so that all U.S. citizens can be guaranteed of "every man is created equal." But the reality in America is that not every man is created equal, especially for someone who is gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. Indeed, sexual minorities are still being treated, in our 21st century, like second class citizens in both the civilian world and U.S. military when it comes to equality. With our U.S. military stretched to the breaking point in occupying both Iraq and Afghanistan, the battling of lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgendered rights, and the possibility of military engagement with Iran, all these current events bring to light the significance and the relevance of confronting the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy now for America. My focus here is on the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) policy and how it stands against our American principles of freedom, equality, and expression that all of our service members have fought to defend. Though the DADT policy is similar as that of its early predecessors in polices of racial discrimination within the military, it is even more discriminatory than those policies because of how the DADT policy infringes upon every service member's sexuality by denying them to freely express or identity themselves as other than heterosexual, regardless of race or ethnicity. Thus, they must pretend to be someone they are not in acting heterosexual.

Just like any other minority, sexual minorities that are gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual, have a long history in America for being treated lesser than human, from being labeled as "social-psycho paths" from psychologist screening recruits during World War II, being black-listed as "deviants" to national security in the McCarthy Era of the 1950s, and currently, being identified as "threats" to unit cohesion and morale within the US Armed Forces, according to what the rationale of the DADT policy. This policy appears to exercise discrimination that goes against our preachings of equality and freedoms for other people not our own. But then again, our own American nation has been built on discrimination. During World War II, for instance, being African American meant that you could not serve alongside your Caucasian service members or could not openly go into an all white establishment where signs had "No Coloreds," even in uniform. Discrimination became a tool for oppression against all types of minorities. For instance, being Asian American, regardless of whether you were Japanese American or not during World War II, meant that you would be discriminated against based upon your appearance or even taken to an internment in order to "monitor" Japan's people. Though majority of Asian American complied with the U.S. government in being interned in order to show their loyalty to the U.S., it was not a matter of loyalty these minorities had, but whether if these U.S. citizen appeared to fit the racial profile of being Asian. The actions of the U.S. government to have Asian American internment camps was based on racial discrimination. That was not the only form of discrimination practiced during that time. Sexual discrimination was also pursued by the U.S. government, which for a gay man enlisted in the U.S. Navy, that meant that you could not openly show your attraction to the same-sex or you'd be thrown into prison for sodomy or into a mental institution for being labeled as a "social psycho-path" or mentally unstable for being a homosexual. But discrimination did not stop minorities from serving during World War II. With someone hiding, cruising, and congregating, lesbians found other lesbians, gays found other gays, sexual minorities found each other, and created bonds that created networks that then created the emergence of a community and sub-culture of their own. Gays, lesbians, and bi-sexuals were present and fought along with their heterosexual brothers-in-arms, during World War II, either on land or ship, and to deny them now, after 60 years, to openly serve, in our year of 2008, is to dishonor what they fought, struggled, and stood for. It is to discriminate again, against our own U.S. citizens for being another minority, a sexual minority, as it was then.

Sexuality is not an identity characteristic that can be easily seen as that of racial identity. More so, racial identity is not defined only by appearances but is defined by culture, which produces the associations and judgements that are based on the appearance of an individual. Though one can express their racial identity, culture bases racial discrimination not on expression, but firstly on their appearance. Sexuality, on the other hand, can either be expressed or not. One can choose when to express it. And while early racial discrimination policies operated on visual characteristics, sexual discrimination must operate on performed behaviors that appear not to be "straight" behavior based on subjectivity of the heterosexual majority. Under the DADT policy, if the performed behavior of "straight" acting is violated by an individual declaring him or herself a sexual minority or performing any other behavior that goes against the norm of heterosexuality, then the military punishes the individual by discharge from its service. To function and serve within the military, these individuals are forced into heterosexuality that violates their freedom of expression in not being open about their true sexuality other than heterosexual. Thus, this DADT policy is a particularly repressive form of discrimination, requiring sexual minorities to always pass as heterosexual, forcing them to act and appear "straight" in all their forms of behavior, public and private.

For instance, imagine you deploy to Iraq, your unit fights in combats during the on-going weeks, there is a possibility that you will die, but you cannot discuss about your significant other to one who asks innocently, "What did you do this weekend," or "Are you going out with someone?" Imagine living a double life of being in uniform, forced to act "straight" by day, drive hundreds of miles, away from your base, to be gay by night, lie to your co-workers about whom you are dating or in love with, such as "Oh yeah, I went to the movies this weekend with Brandon, Brandi...uh, my girlfriend" Living under this policy (Open link in new window on more about this double life) is wrong. Always watching your back, the possibility of someone suspecting that your were with someone they saw, and that they can report you for grounds of an investigation to monitor what you do on your private time are all everyday realities of what it means to serve as gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual in the current U.S. Armed Forces. And if you die, the U.S. government will not inform your partner of your death, because same-sex relationships are not allowed openly, therefore not legitimate enough for that partner to know of your death, unless you are married to your partner of the opposite sex. This DADT policy puts the iron curtain or iron closet on our service members like a gestapo trying to seek their targets, and when that happens, honesty and serving with integrity are thrown straight out the window. And for what? Because their sexual orientation is not the majority.

From: http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/xml/news/2007/04/marine_specops_relief070410/marine_specops_801_070410.JPG

But what about the other side on the effectiveness of the policy? Just as one of our current U.S. presidential candidates, Senator John McCain, during the November 2007 YouTube Republican Debate, stated about the policy in that "it's working." One argument for the policy is that allowing these sexual minorities to serve openly within U.S. military units or in the ranks would damage unit cohesion and morale (unless you are the UK, Spain, Canada, the Netherlands, Australia, to list a few countries that have no ban). Some reasons for supporting this argument is that most Americans that join the Armed Forces are "conservative" and that to place them into a small unit where there is an openly homosexual is to infringe on these young-minded, "conservative" soldiers' beliefs. That their principles would be violated in forcing them to serve alongside a minority that is different from them and would go against their moral values and religious beliefs. Another argument for keeping the DADT policy is that it monitors and controls conduct of service members in order to ensure that unit cohesion is not put "at risk." And to lift that ban now would be in-appropriate because this is not the right time to make such a decision for our U.S. military that is currently at war, fighting terrorism. Top military leaders are saying that "it's working," so therefore, this DADT policy should continue. After all, it has been here for nearly 15 years, so why mess with the policy now if "it's working," right?

The first argument on claiming young soldiers that join into the military are "conservative" is invalid. Our U.S. military is a reflection of our society. One way or another, that person will have to adapt and deal with different types of people, including gays or any other minority. And the surprising news is that these young soldiers of "conservative" background already do tolerate those that are sexual minorities in their units. The thing about the DADT policy is that it does not even fully ban sexual minorities. So gays, lesbians, and bi-sexuals are already serving in those units, people in those units know of them, and tolerate them. They do co-exist and operate with other members in their unit. Some sexual minorities are actually open to their units even. People are put in
uncomfortable situations all the time in the military, such as being deploy to a foreign country, given orders to go into hazardous areas, and have to adapt within the environment they are put in order to survive. If the orders are given to obey the toleration of sexual minorities openly, the military will follow, soldiers will adapt to the change, and the world will not end. You do not have to be "conservative" to join the military as you do not have agree with the military in being "conservative." Nor do you have to be gay to tolerate gays just like you do not have to agree with being gay to tolerate gays. People have different values, beliefs, religions, and though not all agree with each other, people accept and tolerate each other's differences in our civilian society, same goes for our military. Why should the military be treated differently in this regard of toleration, after all, is not our military called to serve and live up to higher standards? Again, our military is a reflection of our society.


For the "at risk" argument that the DADT policy monitors, controls, and protects unit cohesion, while this argument may be against sexual minorities, it does not stand against ex-criminals that could pose an even greater risk within our U.S military than sexual minorities with no criminal records. But rather than raise that bar of its standards, the U.S. military has actually lowered it by the use of waivers in allowing ex-criminals to join into the ranks. According to the U.S. House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, 861 people, with criminal records, were granted "conduct waivers" to enlist in 2007 compared from 457 total in 2006, with the U.S. Army admitting felons 511 in 2007 from 249 in 2006, and the U.S. Marines admitting felons 350 in 2007 from 208 in 2006 . These crimes include aggravated assault, maiming, rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, child molestation, manslaughter, theft, drug offenses, terror threats, and bomb threats. But hey, why should someone with a little felonies and convictions on their record stop them from joining the U.S. military, since there is, after all, the Iraq war going on and recruitment needs do have to be met, even if it means allowing sex offenders, child abusers, drug addicts, thieves, burglars, arsonists, some people convicted of manslaughter, and some for terrorist bomb threats. So you've broken into a house and evade capture by the enemy, in this the case, the cops. Uncle Sam has a place for you, the U.S. Army. Fought and beaten against those that were being like insurgents and less than ten-years-old. Marine quality. Have more than one felony conviction? Then the Army and Marines maybe not be for you, but the U.S. Navy just might be. They allow repeat offenders, though the U.S. Navy did recruit fewer people with convictions of 42 in 2007 from 48 in 2006 and the U.S. Air Force allowed none for both years. But kiss a grown man on the lips? Unacceptable for our military to tolerate. This certainly raises questions about our U.S. government on the rationale in how it can be more tolerable in allowing felony convicts to serve into our U.S. military, but not tolerable enough to allow a soldier that is gay, has critical skills needed greatly, and has no criminal record to serve just as equally and openly as their heterosexual counter-parts.

And what about all those laissez-faire U.S. civilians who could care less about the U.S. military? If I'm not in the military, what do I care what the U.S. government does, it doesn't affect me. Well, our U.S. government policies have to come from funding and budgets in order to be created and carried out. That means funding and budgets have to come from a source, our U.S. citizens' pocket books and taxes. So then U.S. citizens' tax dollars are going to work each time enlisted soldiers and officers get trained. For instance, to place an officer through school, such as Reserved Officer Training Candidate (ROTC) programs or military academies, would be the equivalent to about $200,000 for each cadet/midshipman. Imagine how much it cost to train an Army medic or an Arabic translator? Now, imagine what happens when those service members get discharged under the DADT policy for being identified as "a homosexual/bi-sexual or engaging in homosexual acts." U.S. citizens' tax dollars are wasted and lost because then, more money is spent to find their replacements, and to make up for their training all over again. According to a report in 2005 from the U.S. Government Accountability Office, the separation of LGBT service members separated under the DADT policy cost the U.S. Department of Defense nearly $200 million dollars since the creation of the policy in 1993. In addition, 757 service members who held critical occupations, 322 with important language skills, and with a total of 9, 488 service members have been discharged by the DADT policy since its implementation in 1993. This is U.S. citizens' tax money being wasted, whether one agrees, disagrees, or does not care about the DADT policy. More so, the carrying out of the DADT policy puts a unit's cohesion and morale "at risk" when it discharges a highly skilled service member needed for the mission than someone who is just a sexual minority openly serving. Though the military must enforce policies that may prove to be expensive, it decides whether to retain or eliminate a policy based on the effectiveness for the military . For the DADT policy, it fails to be effective. Rather, it compromises the effectiveness of the military when the DADT is retained and discharges a sexual minority with critical skills needed to complete their mission.

One can argue that the DADT policy is actually a progressive policy, that it is a forwarding step of progress for all sexual minorities. After all, it was first signed and implemented by a Democratic president, Bill Clinton, in 1993, as a compromise to satisfy both the heterosexual majority and the sexual minorities. But this DADT satisfies no one. Rather than taking a progressive step forward, this policy stops dead in its tracks, and stalls to end prejudices against sexual minorities. The DADT policy was supposedly created to protect sexual minorities from not being persecuted, but the U.S. military can still investigate and persecute them for what they do within their private lives. When the U.S. government enacted the DADT policy, it gave sexual minorities the order not to act "homosexual/ bi-sexual" but to act "straight." This policy does not give the right for sexual minorities safely and freely express themselves or engage in an open relationship. It forces sexual minorities to hide themselves into acting "straight" and though they can never be "straight," the U.S. military coerces sexual minorities to adopt the heterosexual life style within their private lives. Thus, this policy is discriminatory, violating these U.S. citizens' rights of freedom of expression and privacy.

In the last resort of defending the DADT policy, one can finally argue a potential truth that the U.S. military does not have an adequately developed, institutionalized culture in creating a secure environment for sexual minorities. This argument is based on fear. I believe the U.S. military is better than that. This argument should not be used as an excuse for the U.S. military to discriminate against any minority. With every institution, including the U.S. military, its culture evolves and changes over time, and it must adapt to changes of the time in order to survive. If the U.S. miliary cannot adequately adapt with the situation of sexual minorites serving, then this challenges the adaptiveness of the U.S. military itself. More so, this argument challenges how adequately developed the U.S. military is in its institutionalized culture of integrating minorities. The U.S. military must adapt to change in order to defend its society or then it fails to defend its society. This excuse in discriminating against sexual minorities because its culture cannot adequately adapt with them openly integrated has already been used in the discrimination against other minorities based on race, as well against women, being integrated into the U.S. military.

Of all these arguments in keeping the DADT policy, it's not how "conservative" our U.S. soldiers are, it's not how sexual minorities can put unit cohesion and morale at risk, and it's not even about how much money is lost to the DADT policy annually. It's about discrimination. All of these arguments are backed up by discrimination and allowing discrimination to carrying on in order to block another minority in the U.S. from entering the Armed Forces. Even though yes, all U.S. citizen, who self-identity as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgendered, or heterosexual, are required to pay income and government taxes yearly, sexual minorities are still being treated like second class citizens. They are literally paying for the policies and laws that discriminate against them. Therefore, the DADT policy is unconstitutional because it discriminates against our own U.S. citizens. It does not ensure equality for all U.S. citizens that are sexual minorities. For our military, this policy sets a precedence in overriding privacy and freedom of expression for all U.S. citizens that are guaranteed by our U.S. Constitution. If that most legal document is breached to not guarantee every U.S. citizen their rights to privacy and freedom of expression, then what other precedence can our rights as U.S. citizens not be guaranteed and taken by our U.S. Government? Currently, this is how the U.S. Government treats sexual minorities. So, is America really the land of equality? Or of discrimination? Whatever impacts our military also reflects our society. This DADT policy goes against our American principles of freedom and equality that our Armed Forces strive to defend. And to continue this policy is be against ourselves, our country, and our meaning of what it is to serve within our Armed Forces.



Bibliography:

1. D’Emilio, John. Sexual Politics, Sexual Communities. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1998.
2. Berube, Allan. Coming Out Under Fire. New York: The Free Press, 1990.
3. "US military recruits more ex-cons." Apr. 2008. BBC News. UK. 12 Jul. 2008
4. D'Anne Witkowski. "U.S. Department of Defense." Apr. 2008. Between the Lines. Vol. 1617, Iss. 559; p. 14. Livonia. 12 Jul. 2008
5. Tatchell, Peter. "Just a phase." Nov. 2007. Guardian. UK. 12 Jul. 2008
6. Belkin, Aaron. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Does the Gay Ban Undermine the Military's Reputation?" Apr. 2007. Armed Forces & Society. University of California, Santa Barbara. 13 Jul. 2008
7. Waxman, Henry A. "Letter to Under Secretary Chu." Congress of the United States-House of Representatives: Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. April 2008. 16 Jul 2008.
8. Steward, Derek B. "Military Personnel: Financial Costs and Loss of Critical Skills Due to DOD's Homosexual Conduct Policy Cannot Be Completely Estimated" United States Government Accountability Office. February 2005. 16 Jul 2008.
9. Gaytoday.com. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Denounced by Former President Clinton." Service Legal Defense Network. 7 October 2003. 19 July 2008.
10. Bors, Matt. "200th Strip." Idiot Box. 2006. 16 July 2008.
11. All photos of soldiers and sailors provided from Photobucket.com. 16 July 2008.
12. Bluealliancevideo. Living Under Don't Ask Don't Tell. 19 January 2008. 16 July 2008. Youtube.com
13. Lance5677. Novemeber 2008 YouTube Republican Debate (LGBT Questions). Youtube.com. 28 November 2007. 16 July 2008.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnJVHuFeYkA&feature=related>
14. Photos of soldiers provided from Photobucket.com. 16 July 2008.

Outcries for Equality

Image from: http://gaysnohomish.org/images/LetThemServe_sldn_org.jpg

GOT EX-CONS?

I read an article in the BBC news on the US military recruiting more ex-cons. Now get this, according to a congressional committee, 861 people were granted waivers for their criminal records to enlist, that's more than last year, of 457 in 2007. The waivers include crimes on assault, sex crimes, manslaughter, and burglary, but yet there are no waivers for being gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. So the U.S. government means to me that a civilian can commit sex crimes, burglary, car thefts, drug offenses, bomb threats, and manslaughter, be given a waiver to join into the US Armed Forces but not an openly lesbian (or any other sexual minority), who has no criminal record at all, not serve? So if you wanted to serve, who would you want to have your back when in combat, someone who has been convicted of rape, child molestation, burglary, or manslaugher, where trust and security is lagging, or a gay man who is competent, loyal, and most importantly, hasn't had any felony convictions against him, not done time or been on COPS? Hmmmmmmmm. Gee, That's a hard question.

Is there something with this picture? In America, we preach we are a people of freedom, that we are champions of freedom, to fight for our freedoms and for others, but how the hell can we fight for other people's freedom when we can't even establish our own people's freedom. One of the most basic rights of America, to serve freely and open within the Armed Forces, is denied to those that are sexual minorities. And yet these sexual minorities are American citizens that pay taxes like everyone else, and money, millions of dollars, is spent to uphold this "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that is costing ALL U.S. citizens their tax dollars. For each officer and enlisted service member discharged from the U.S. Armed Forces for being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, engaging in any homosexual activities, or just being suspected of any in the above, money is lost to replace them and for all of their training (Arabic interpreters anyone?). DADT policy is way past expired.




From:http://www.sldn.org/templates/press/index.html?section=230&video=16

Targeting on Don't Tell, Don't Ask

Image from: http://www.mfr.usmc.mil/4thmardiv/25thMar/1stBn/CoC/lineup.jpg

ON TO JOE AND SOME

There's a storm brewing in the news and in the U.S. military. It's the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." You know sports and the military are very similar to each other, both are setup that hetereosexual masculinity that people just assume that everyone within appears to be straight and peachy. Marines, for instance, can be the ultimate icon for masculinity in our U.S. culture, that one usually assumes the man or woman underneath the uniform of the hetero majority, but there those that are not. These are the proud, the few, the courageous, the sexual minorities of gay, lesbians, and bi-sexuals that serve within our Armed Forces. And yet, a policy that prevents these sexual minorities from serving openly, the "Don't Ask, Don't" policy, has treated them as second class citizens in striping them of their military careers when found out, costing our country millions of dollars (really), and doing more damage to our military in taking people out (don't we have a military stretched far enough that we need not lose people?). Well, I ran into a blog that gave me the latest updates on the subject of our DADT policy from the blog Joe.My.God. This blogger keeps up with the latest politics and news surrounding the DADT policy. His blog was given a Weblog Award for the best LGBT blog in 2007. This subject is already in the news. Another get source of about the coverage of the DADT policy is from Service Legal Defense Network's blog, the Frontlines. I highly recommend you check these out if you are ever interested in your LGBT brothers and sisters serving in the Armed Forces.

The Hidden Athletes

From: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OohCJMUWRlE&feature=related

SPORTS PLAYING

As I was reading on one of my pageflake of Outsports the profile of Hank Weintraub, I though to myself there must be more gay and bi-sexual athletes out there who are not open to the outside. Sports is and has been an area dominated by masculinity and hetereosexuality to the point that it's assumed all players participanting are straight. Well, mostly for the men anyways. Women on the other hand get a bad rap from society when a female acts too masculine for her own good that others start to question her sexual orientation, but for a male, not the case. Why is that? Why is it that when men play sports, they are automatically masculine and heterosexual status, but women are not, but instead challenged in their femininity and sexual orientation because of playing sports? Sports has been a constructed by that heterosexual masculinity. How so? But there are few that play, not hiding their sexual orientation. Well, hear is a blog that related to being not heterosexual, of Zach Puchtel, a bi-sexual basketball athlete, someone who break that stereo-type of the typical jock on both sides of the fence (no pun intended). Enjoy.




Image from: http://rightturnleft.blogspot.com/2007/10/bi-sexual-guys-who-are-cool-with-it.html

Under The Makeup

From: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkgACMUOHzs


OUR SHOT DOWN PERCEPTIONS

Ever walk into a grocery store and somone catches your eye, and you keep staring but try not to, and then you say to yourself after, constantly pondering the encounter, "Was that a guy or a girl?" Or ever first meet and listen to 'that guy' explaining to yourself, "Yep, he's a 100% homo," only to find out he's straight and married with kids. Or ever see a female surfer, who's gorgeous, riding the waves, and you get the hots for, then she comes to shore, and on the corner of your eye, you see another female run up to her and kiss her on the lips and walk past by you, holding hands together and you being stunned with "Really?" Well, Gaydar can only go so far, and it cane be thrown WAY off at times, along with our assumptions. It's so easy to judge a person and blurb out to your friends, "Oh, he's gay" or "Oh, she's a lesbian, I just know it," but for most first impression, we don't usually have the full picture, just our perceptions to guide us. But perceptions can be, at times, off the mark, leaving us wondering at the end of the day, "Is he/she really?"

So then what is gay? What does gay mean? Is the word inclining towards being masculine or feminine? Majority would pick the latter, and though the word gay and homosexual can seem synomonous, there can be differences. Do actions or words make a person gay or homosexual? For instance, one can define themselves "gay" or "queer" and not have a homosexual experience, yet on the flip side, one can be homosexual, have homosexual experiences, and/or claim themselves not "gay" or "queer" such as a guy that has sex with guys (vice-versa for girls too) and identifies as 'straight' or hear a guy excuse his "experimental" encounters with the third-legged kind proclaiming, "Man, I was soooo drunk last night." Again, there are some questions that leave us with not so cookie cutter answers when it comes to placing people into social categories.

And yet images, roles, and stereo-types play upon our assumptions and perceptions daily. What fascinates me the most (and what I love to see in people's faces) is when those assumptions are shot down, like an elk in the headlights, by the real truth underneath the mascara and foundatons of our judgements. Roles can be simply that, if in themselves, along with the images and stereo-types. They need people to fill them or else they'd be an empty, meaningless suit collecting dust and outdated. With that, I want to leave you with some images to ponder: The Surfer, The Skater, The Football Player, The Baseball Player, The Cop, The Firefighter, The Lifeguard, The Plumber, The Marine, The Soldier, The Pilot, The Cowboy, The Executive, The Doctor, Miss America, The Teacher, The Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Model. And think what would be your reaction if that image/person did the opposite of what you thought in sexual actions, sexual attractions, and in gender behavior (masculine and feminine). While you do that, I will be doing some research on my own in diving deep into that gray area of sexuality to know more about these unique people that fill these roles and contradict society's assumptions of them. See you on the otherside....

Image from: http://wizbangblog.com/images/2005/10/white_sox_kiss.jpg